How to Make Your Child Want to Study: The Carrot and The Stick

Today, tuition in Singapore is an necessity. A Straits Time report indicates that some 97% of the Singaporean student population today have some form of tuition. Tuition can come in the form of tuition centres, or enrolling your child in a tuition agency.

How we choose to reward and punish our children will definitely have the biggest impact on how well they are going to do in school, and ultimately, how they turn out as people. Without doubt, this is going to be the most important aspect of parenting. So the dilemma arises, just how tight should you hold on to your kids?

It is important for parents to understand the concept of the reward and punishment system. Your child should recognise that there is always a consequence for his action. It may be good or it may be bad. For example, he gets a reward if he displays good behaviour and gets punished when he displays bad behaviour. This must be adhered to strictly.

It is common knowledge that children learn 3 times faster than adults. They are curious about the world and are quick to pick up what mistakes would cost them, and what mistakes they can get away with. For example, if you buy him a toy despite him failing his exams, he would start thinking it is okay to not to try his best in studying. If you scold him despite putting in all his effort, he would think it is pointless to study hard.

At a young age, children would most certainly not recognise the importance of studying. This does not mean studying is not important; it is what they are going to do for the next 20 years or so! The kind o grades they achieve now would definitely affect their quality of life in the future. Therefore, achieving good grades is of paramount importance. This is where the parents come in and play the role of the compass, steering the child in the right direction until he is old enough to make intelligent decisions for himself.

You can do that by making your child recognise the importance of studying from young. The way to do that is to put a direct correlation between his school work and needs. All children have needs which will need to be met. This includes food, play time and love. For example, you could give your child more play time if he does well for the exams. This teaches your child the concept of delayed gratification, which would be priceless in life later on.

The “marshmallow experiment” is a well known experiment conducted at Stanford University. In this experiment, 4 year olds were given a plate with a marshmallow placed in front of them. If they were able to resist eating the marshmallow for 20 minutes, they would be given another one. Some were able to wait, others were not. Children who resisted understood the concept of delayed gratification.

Research done on these four year olds many years later was astounding. It was found that the same 4 year olds who practiced delayed gratification scored significantly higher in exams and generally did better in life.

It may be painful not to do, but pampering your child would hinder his development. The responsible thing to do would be to do whatever it takes, even the occasional scolding to make sure your kids are on the right track. Hopefully in the future, they would be useful individuals to society and be thankful for their upbringing.

The author is a full time tutor in Singapore, and gives free advice to parents on how to help improve their children's grades. To view other articles like these, please visit our blog today.